By Rachel Collins and Falon Barton
Co-Founders and Co-Owners of Emerge Collaborative
Many churches across the country are aging. As the hair in the pew turns grayer, a church may be more inclined to have a seniors ministry than a young adult ministry. And that is wonderful! There is no shame in being an aging church. But aging churches often make one big mistake as they emphasize different areas of ministry over others: They believe that having zero young adults in their building on Sunday mornings means that there are zero young adults in their community. That couldn’t be further from the truth.
Even if your congregation has virtually no regular attendees between the ages of 18 and 30, young adult ministry still matters.
Young adults experience the Christian faith through their parents, grandparents, friends, and neighbors. They see the face of Jesus in your congregants, who they interact with while working in the office, shopping for groceries, walking their dog, and visiting for the holidays. No matter the congregation, young adults are always on the margins of your community through these ordinary interactions with church members.
That does not mean a church with no young adult members needs to suddenly hire a young adult minister. In fact, we’d recommend against it. What it does mean is that every follower of Jesus in your pews (especially the empty nesters with young-adult children) need to be faithfully equipped to care for and be in healthy relationships with the young adults in their ordinary lives throughout the week. This is your ministry to young adults. This is participating in God’s mission.
Here are some basics every congregant should know about emerging adulthood — the stage of life used to describe 18-30 years old in contemporary Western cultures — to minister in meaningful and impactful ways to the young adults in their lives. This is all based on extensive psychological and sociological research, launched by Dr. Jeffrey Arnett, a developmental psychologist and the originator of the theory of emerging adulthood.
Arnett describes five major markers of the young adult experience. These markers can help us better understand the young adults around us and how we can show them God’s love through our interactions with them.
1. The young adult years are unstable.
Young adults often move, change jobs, shift career directions, and experience relationship fluctuations. This can lead them to struggle in their discernment, faith, and choices. It is common for young adults to feel overwhelmed by all of the change. They need space to experience that instability (which is usually at no fault of their own) without judgment.
2. Young adults have big questions about life and faith.
Young adults are asking big questions: Who am I? What do I believe? Where do I belong? How do I make meaning in my life? These are all questions we hear from young adults frequently. Young adults are experiencing identity formation in significant ways that impact their faith formation and their understanding of who they are. They need older adults to respond without anxiety as these questions come up.
3. Young adults feel “in between.”
Young adults often report feeling like a kid in some ways and an adult in other ways. They are making major adult life decisions about where they will live, who they will date and marry, and career paths they will pursue. They are learning how to navigate daily life for the first time and feel rather young when they are faced with calling an insurance company or signing a lease. They need patience and kindness in those in-between moments.
4. Young adults are self-focused (not selfish).
Young adults are experiencing a time in their lives when they typically have less responsibility toward others (e.g., parents, spouses, children), and so they are able to focus inward. This is significantly different from being selfish. Self-focus is merely describing this time of life when they are answering to themselves. They need older adults to come alongside them and model self-reflection.
5. Young adults are hopeful for the future.
Young adults are optimistic and see the future as wide open, full of possibilities. Despite the challenges of young adulthood, they report excitement. They need adults who will celebrate their joys with them, too!
Understanding the major markers of emerging adulthood can help parents, pastors, and congregants better understand the young adults around them. Ministry doesn’t always mean programs, college ministries, or church events. It means showing up in people’s lives as supportive, kind, and hospitable representatives of Christ’s love.
Rachel Collins and Falon Barton are Co-Founders and Co-Owners of Emerge Collaborative. For more on this topic, you can check out emerge-collaborative.com, where we seek to provide parents, ministers, and education professionals with the tools they need to love the young adults in their specific contexts.