By Grady D. King, D.Min.
Church leaders are my life and some of my closest friends. I have served in five congregations with over fifty elders and twenty ministers in rural, urban and suburban contexts. And for over twenty years I have listened, encouraged and hopefully, been helpful to church leaders through HOPE Network. Church life is messy because people are messy. Shepherds know it.
Here’s what I know growing up in rural NW Oklahoma. It is one thing to drive cattle, and quite another to lead sheep. When a minister transitions, shepherding matters for the congregation and the minister. A consistent theme of frustration is the elder-minister working relationship. It is a two-way street with trust as the capital of leadership. When trust is high, communication is good and disagreements do not threaten the relationship or evolve into turf battles. When trust is absent the relationship, ministry and mission is impacted. When position, not service is the default, the bridge of trust and communication is broken—usually, over time. What happens behind closed doors seldom stays there. The congregation feels it and eventually knows the tension.
When a minister seeks a congregation, there are dual concerns of elders and ministers. Elders are concerned with congregational needs, doctrine and will he be a good fit, culturally. Ministers greatest concern is, “What are the elders like?” Closely related is “How long was your last minister there?” and “Why did he leave?” How the last minister departed impacts everyone. congregations have reputations and elders do too. It doesn’t take many phone calls or talking to the previous minister to find out about a congregation or elders/leaders.
The focus of this article is on the role of elders as shepherds and stewards during minister transitions by choice or termination. It is not addressing health related transitions, or termination related to moral failure. There are however, several criteria for discerning the decision to terminate the relationship: length of tenure, professional and interpersonal incompetence, congregational factions because of the minister, values and goals conflict, loss of trust and respect for the leader. And long before the ending is how the relationship began. First things first.
Begin with the End in Mind: How a relationship begins often shapes how it ends. Long before any transition, relationships need clarity about roles and responsibilities, regardless of congregation size or context. Lack of clarity plants seeds of frustration. A handshake and “We will take care of you” is insufficient; unspoken assumptions slowly erode good intentions. Three essentials should be in place from the beginning.
- Ensure a written working agreement. The collaborative agreement specifies role clarity, empowerment, boundaries, limitations, vacation, sabbatical terms for rest, spiritual renewal, and severance.
- Establish an annual growth review. The process is focused on strengths, growth areas, and goals—not criticism, rather, pastoral and soul care.
- Design a formal exit interview. Shared learnings are important for both the minister and the elders. View the minister and transition as shepherds, not a corporate board. The exit interview is a time of learning for the elders and the minister. Regardless of the cause of departure, it is wise to invest in mutual conversation. It is a specific application of Ephesians 4.15— “Speaking the truth in love we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.” This exercise is an act of shepherding—of pastoral care. Questions can be given to each elder and the minister two weeks prior for anticipation of the conversation and prayer (For an exit interview process with questions email: grady@hopenetworkministries.org)
When Transition is Known: One minister in a rural church says it well.
“Ministry should be the best job in the world because we are serving God and his people. Why then is this often not the case? Why do congregations sometimes treat ministers worse than in a secular job? Why do ministers sometimes have ill feelings toward leadership?”
Here are Christ centered principles and behaviors that make a big difference.
- Include, not Exclude: Include the minister in the termination process. Though difficult, these conversations help the relationship end well by clarifying departure terms and responsibilities. Abrupt cutoffs based on fear of harm or criticism create resentment and waste the minister’s history, knowledge, and contribution.
- Bless, Not Stress: Seek ways to bless the minister and his family with care and prayer. Many spouses feel left out of the conversations and the family experiences the joys and sorrows as well. Identify their contribution to the church to the church—his gifts, relationship, and ways he has been helpful. This is critical to shepherding and transition stewardship.
- Keep Grace in Place: Grace is at the heart of the gospel and should guide every transition. Elders should respond with self-control, receive resignations without guilt or pressure, and speak to the congregation with care. Because transitions carry spiritual weight, grace must shape both the process and the posture of those who lead.
- Require due process, even when members apply pressure.
- Distinguish personal grievances from documented cause.
- Provide fair severance and a respectful, unified public explanation.
- Protect confidentiality; avoid leaks or passive-aggressive actions.
Finally, too many ministers and elders enter transitions exhausted and spiritually depleted. Terry Walling warns, “Many committed Christ-followers have jumped off-road because of times like these. Short-circuited transitions have led to times of plateau, arrested development and even walking away from the faith.”
It does not have to be this way. May we lead sheep well for the sake of the kingdom.
Helpful Resources:
Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes. William Bridges
Stuck: Navigating the Transitions of Life and Leadership, Terry Walling
Emotionally Healthy Leaders: Peter Scazzero, Zondervan.
Minister Looking Packet: The Siburt Institute (Free Download)
https://www.siburtinstitute.org/transition
Want to Know More? I enjoy helping leaders and churches get on mission. Contact me if you would like a conversation tool to adapt and use in your church. I will listen and pray. The discernment process has been used in churches of less than 50 and over 200+. I am a product of a small church who invested in my faith, hope, and love in Jesus Christ.
Grady D. King, D. Min
grady@hopenetworkministries.org