Success in Living

Four times in the last couple weeks I have had people share thoughts about their YC experience. What they had in common was a bit surprising. One of the four was a recent alumnus and the other three were current students, one of whom will graduate this Saturday.

All four said that growing up, they had few rules. Three came from broken families and they were now mature enough to see that their parent(s) overcompensated by giving them few restrictions. When they came to York, they initially chaffed at all the "stupid rules" we have here. One indicated that they usually went out to have a few drinks after a game before they transferred to York. It was easy not to do that here because of our rules, but that it was unusual and unexpected. Another student talked about their father being incarcerated and how they usually did whatever they wanted whenever they wanted. Both of these students continue to struggle with habits they acquired before coming to York, which they thought were the norm.

Now they are beginning to see things in a different light. They are more focused on their education and their future. While they sometimes miss the things they used to do, they are seeing the value of structure in their lives and how it has helped them to grow. One student said through tears, 'I hope my bad decisions don't cost me my education here. While I make mistakes, I now know that York and the people here are what I need and I can't give that up,'  (paraphrase).

I feel oftentimes students don't acknowledge the importance of learning discipline through boundaries. At YC we have these boundaries because we love our students and want what is best for them, not because we want to control their lives. We all makes mistakes and it is our aim here to always do our best to try and have people learn from those mistakes and bad decisions without destroying their future. Sometimes that works and sometimes it does not. It is especially painful when you are close to a student who violates your trust in them.

Whatever the decision or the outcome, it never means that we don't love you or want the best for you. The opposite of love is apathy, not discipline. Our prayer for all our students is that they seize the opportunity to let God work in their lives no matter what the circumstance.

We want you to be successful not just in life, but in living.

Go Panthers!

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